Gosh......what if I can't find another Mr. D, who does know me......

Gosh....when I was watching modern family season 2 ep. 16, I miss Mr. D badly......

I know I know, he has totally forgot about me , and it's a good thing for him, I was a disaster!

It just......I never know myself, I never know what I am good at......and he seems to be the only guy who knows me more than myself......

After listening to a lot of stories from my friends, most of my female friends keep complain that their partners/boyfriends never able to get them any gift which they truly like...but ...Mr. D always get it right for me, it's amazing! He always know what I want, and I don't have to say a word......

Of course, on the other hand......I am not sure what he wants, and ...... in somehow......I was scared......I never have any confidence, and when compare with my exes, Mr. D is really not as good as them from his family backgrounds, education and other factors, but he was the only one who knows me, and I was scared when I was with him, because he is the only man who can tell what I want all the time, he knows me more than myself, yet the only weakness was......he was not mature enough to lead me ......I never understand him....as ...it seems he knew me, but why he has to do things which he knew I would be soooooooo sad? After all these years, I have to accept the fact that, "he is not that into me"......

I have to remind myself...when guys who truly into me...even they are not able to know me deeply.......they would never try to do things in order to challenge my limit! My limited is easy to tell! no one beside Mr. D would push me to the corner.

Why am I always meet the guys in the wrong timing? I met a man who wanted to marry me, and a man who I wanted to marry with......but as always, always met them in the wrong timing!

I know...it's my problem! I always want someone who knows me, yet....for someone who knows me, he has to have the ability to calm me down as well....as ......I am lack of confidence...... I never truly believe in myself and "marriage"...even that's what I want......

p.s. don't worry all my friends, (I don't think any of you will look into my crappy notes here! My click rate should be zero everyday~anyways) I am  over Mr. D...it just .......I miss to be with someone who knows me deeply......