I am glad that he is totally disappear in my life in somehow

In somehow.....I am glad he totally disappear from my world......

When I was watching the Royal Wedding, I was like "gosh, I think I will collapse if I see his wedding picture" I can't believe I still have that thought in my mind after such a long time......what is going on with me? Seriously!!!!!!

Life is not bad, fair tale always happen when we believe...

The United Kingdom of Britain does have her charm! The PR team did a wonderful job for the United Kingdom of Britain with Will and Kate's wedding! We need fair tale to make us to believe--"life is not bad, fair tale always happen when we believe"

Golden opportunity

Whoever in my work field knows that I have got a chance in the Art Fair (even for short term), they always say "it's a good one", today, someone who I respect a lot even told me it's a  "golden opportunity"......

I do feel a lot of pressure now...

I should have confidence for myself.....yet......It just....too good to be true......

guy ...just like to chase......

Sometimes....when I was drunk.....I would admit I am still waiting for Mr. D to other male friends....

And all these guys would tell me the same answer..."if a guy really loves you, he will never ever let you alone, blah blah blah......"

I hate myself still missing Mr. D deep in my heart! I really hate it! Why can't I let go of my past? there are so many good guys passed by...and I always act as I have someone with me, why am I doing this? Why can't I admit I am single?

Guy just like to chase......but....deep in my heart, I only want Mr. D atm.....who is someone I can't get at all....

Strangers, again

ok...I do admit first impression is very important

I do wanna make my hair perm....yet......after thinking for a few days....I have designed to do that after the fair....as foreigners always prefer Asian gals to have straight hair, and ....it's easier for me to keep my hair tidy if its straight......I have to arrive the office around 08:30...as my manager goes to work at 08:45, I promised myself I must go there earlier than her everyday!

Finally able to wear some decent clothes when I start my new job....I prefer to wear casually in my previous job, as....there were too many things need me to fix ...and it's not easy for me to do everything when I wear some decent clothes, with Jeans, I can simply sit on the ground and do whatever I need to do...I know, I know, I need to do some physical works in this new job as well, yet, the environment is clean, I feel ok t sit on the ground even with a decent clothes, I know there will be no stain on the ground : )

To be honest, I can't wait for this new starts! Even it may not be a long term thing, I am glad that I was picked for a short term anyway, it's one of the dream jobs in the art field : )

The only method to forget your ex...is to fall in love with a new one

Maybe....it's truth....the only method to forget your ex, is to fall in love with a new one......

Today is my last day at work, and......I have no hard feeling at all, since......a new job is waiting for me after the Easter Holiday~

In my mind, I can only think of what should I do to prefer for the new job, for the old one....I don't really care~

Maybe ...... I should open my heart in all aspects as well~

Anyways, I can't wait for a new chapter for work after Easter : )

There are only 5 ways to stay in the HKG' s Art Fields

1. You are not Asians.
2. You have wonderful networks.
3. You don't know Chinese even you are Chinese.
4. You are very smart and know everything about Art
5. You can gossips ......


and for me....I can only reach the lowest level......

gosh......It's a really bad things!!!!!!

After tonight......I rememeber the night I tried to raise the problem of my dad to Mr. D ages ago......

Mum was in so pain tonight, we never see this in our lifetime ...and my sis called the ambulance in mid-night......

As expected, my Dad went crazy and try to find any reason to yell at me and my sis, he is someone who can never ever handle any situation.....to be honest, I do wish he can "go away" before mum, as....I am not sure if I can handle him alone with my sis......
I I I
I suddenly realize the reason I love Mr. D a lot is......he is the only man I love who I  believed he is able to stop my dad's  crazy reaction! As I know he always give strong statement towards others, and with the way he talks, my dad must scared! 

When I was in the ER just then, I suddenly realize, I am so weak, and I only want someone who are strong enough to stop my dad's craziness whenever thing happen, no matter that accident is  to my dad or any family member! 

Yet.....I do know deep in my heart, Mr. D only got the impression to others he can handle any accident,  yet, in reality, he must be a chicken.....I was expecting too much from him in the past, and i remember one night....I tried to raise the personal problem of my dad to him, and he yelled and said he didn't want to know, I really should remember that all the time! As ......if I really want to be with someone for the rest of my life, and vise verse, he has to face the problem I am facing as well.....

On the other hand, I can't be a good daughter - in - law for Mr. D's parent, how could I expect he can be the son-in law for my parent?

Gosh...I really have to stop my feeling for him, and looking forward!

The best Love story will be continous in the memroy ......

My love to Mr. D is like the last line from this Music Video, I have changed, but ....it's too late......

if I am still with Mr. D....

When I am counting the cost for the business, I was like, Gosh, if Mr. D was with me, I could have save so many troubles!

I am only good at public relation, customer service, photo shooting and some design works. My partners are very good at sourcing and  the labor work...with some design skills as well...if Mr. D with me, he can do all the calculation for us, and our business  can grow so much quicker.....

Gosh......I am using any excuse to let myself to miss Mr. D...yet, I do know the more i miss hm, the more he is moving forward!

A man will never cherish a woman who love him a lot, as he knows she will be waiting for him.......the can play hard......

I know I know, he is not only playing now...... he has given up on me ages ago......I am the silly one......

the line from John Keats to Fanny Brawne......

A friend told me John Keats once had such lines, "I almost wish we were butterflies and lived but three summer days - three such days with you I could fill more delight than fifty common years could ever contain." - Letter to Fanny Brawne.

I have to be extremely tough if I want my dream comes true! I can't get involved into any "Love", I love "Love" a lot! Beside love from others (if there is any),  I have to leave all my feeling and regret to  Mr. D behind, even, I got to admit,the real reason I tried hard to expend my possibility for businesses (like the leather shop before, and keep running the lolly shop and online business) is just simply because I really want him to know I have changed, I am not as useless as the Clipse in OZ!  I start all these business without family support! And the "dream comes true" job invited me to go there for a trial, a job (even it's temporary term) all the juniors in HKG 's Art Field dying for.

I know, the Clipse in Mr. D's heart is only a spoiled chic with no skill and always behaves badly, but I am changing...I am changing...

There is no way I can reach him now, and I am sure he has no interest for any news of me now, as he already be with someone else, why do I still care of him? Why? Why? Why?

Why can't I try to open up my heart? Why I have to stop seeing guys after the second dinner dates? what's wrong with me? Mr. D has moved forward, why can't I move forward? What am I waiting?

I am a miracle maker! And I want to keep my name as miracle maker

Finally confirmed there will be someone replacing my "important" role, I am able to go and face this "once in a lifetime" chance now. At the moment, it's on contract basic, if I can make it through, it will be a long term thing!!!!!!

I can only tell a few people about this, as ...this is a job way too good for me! I am not sure if I can make it to be a permanent position. Yet, I have promised myself, show them the miracle Clipse!

I know I never good at school, I hate sitting in a classroom and wait for knowledge! From the past experiences, if I am intend to make something happen, nothing can stop me! I hope this will be like my pass as well......

Now, I have a chance to fight for the glory, I must try my very best not to lose it! Even I can only sleep 2 hours a day! And if I lose it...everyone can understand...as it's way too good for me, seriously!!!!!!!!!!!Even for myself, I do know the job it's way too good for me, and for my ability, I am not qualified for that! Yet, I got a chance to make this "dream comes true", why not make another miracle? I won't lose anything even it ends after 30th June! It will be one of the best memories for my career!

After taking this temporary job, I feel so much better...even Love is the most important thing in my life, I prefer to take thing as they are now......I still miss him a lot......and I am too late to know the feeling of I do love him no matter what...anyways, just focus on my career now......

Gosh....please makes this happen

I really want this "once in a life" chance...even it's temporary, yet, it's going to be an wonderful experience......and...I will try my very best, hopefully I can achieve to make this as a long term thing.......

I want to go ......

Please send someone to replace me ASAP!!!!!!

Am I really over him? what is going on with me?

the feeling of fighting against my heart is crazy ......
one day, I will tell myself i am all good, the next day, I am feeling not ok......
I know...I have to let go , this is not good~
if I can't let go, there are no way I can move forward....

But what is going on? after a colleague told me I Can't find anyone in HKG.....I was...really out of my mind...a bit depress for her word......

Yet, deep in my heart, I do know me and Mr. D can never have any good ending, which is why I sent that e-mail out.

what is going on with me? seriously? What is going on?

Sometimes, I just wanna yell out now......

I still miss him badly....

and I am trying my very hard to change myself, I really do......

yes......I do admit......I still miss MR. D a lot

if any of my friend saw this, they are going to kill me......

yes, I do admit it..there are a few guys asking me out for dinner....yet......deep in my heart......I still miss Mr.D a lot......

yes, all the people keep telling me as a female, we have no choice. Male will approach to us if they are interested to us....in somehow I do admit that's true.......

but...can't I have my own feeling?

I am trying my very best to change ... I am learning to cook, I am learning to be mature!


I know Mr. d is with someone else, but..can you all leave me alone? please......

I am happy to be single in 2011 as well

I have been lost in 2009 - 2011....yet, I am done!

I am happily to be single in 2011 a well, it's a punishment to myself!

only find someone who already play enough

Was having a drink with a friend after work....

She is getting marry soon, she gives me an advice : find someone who has played enough, as..people who never play when they were young...once there's a seducement in font of them in their middle-age, they can't resist and ..may end up to be a disaster......

I do agree with her......and in somehow, I know Mr. D always wanna play around, as he always claim he never play when he was a teens...

There is one thing so difference between us, he tends to hang out with people who will look up to him, so he can have influence in the group, but for me, I tend to hang out with people who are mature, and they can always give me new experience, also guide me to the right way from their experiences.

Anyways, I believe I finally over Mr. D!

Finally!

Two years......

it's been two years......

My big step for today is ......
I have finally give up using the wallet I brought for me and him......