If I can keep learning how to cook at least one dish a week

After granny passed away, and after all the crisis we faced on that day, mum changed a bit. Now , she let me to go into the kitchen even she was cooking. I am very happy about this change.

Before that, mum kept saying she hates the way I cook, and that's her kitchen, so I always get yell when I try to cook something. Yet, tonight, she told me she has some King Prawns, and ask me to cook them. I was surprised! Yet, a chance to practice my cooking skills, I am not going to lose it!

So...that's what I made, Garlic and Cheese King Prawns , the dish I learn when I was working in a restaurant in Australia, and that's one of the dishes I love a lot , with the sause, I can eat one whole bowl of rice : )

After tonight, if I have more change to practice, maybe....after 2011, I should be able to cook a meal for family! One entree , three mains with soups (We Hong Kong people love soup) plus desert! One part of "the Journey to be a better person" should be able to achieve.

I hate myself in the past, the one who screwed up everything in her life!!!!!!

After Granny gone......I keep having weird dreams......

It's weird, because I keep dreaming of Mr. D......for two nights, and the weird part is......we were so distant in the dream, even he offered to give me a hug, I run away......or I would sit down in a cafe with someone and ask about him...or we met each other on the street, and act like we don't know each other at all.

When I woke up in these two days, I would feel so tried, and felt like I never sleep.

Why can't I see Granny in my dream? I miss her already.

When we were having a light lunch on the day granny passed away, an uncle pointed to me said Granny wanna to see me getting marry, and what have happened to us? (he didn't point at me only, also to others), my tears can't stop! I know he was trying to make things funny, but ......this line does hurt me! Because my and granny did have a silly chat about this, and I even promise her not to worry......

I wanna to tell her I thought she would live longer, for at least 2-3 years longer, then maybe if we are all lucky and I behave, she would be able to see someone getting marry.