"cruel to be kind"

Didn't have any blog entry for long time (I mean in 2010), as I was a mess before. I have made the biggest joke to myself on April fool's day in 2009, and keep doing things to destroy myself in somehow.

In Dec 2010, talked to friends and family(like all the endless talks before), finally understood I have to be strong, face the fact that he is not coming back to me like he used to. On the last day of 2010, one of my very best friend told me he is "cruel to be kind" (my tears went out straight away when she said that) and I "did have my time with him". I finally understood I have to learn how to take responsibility for what I have done! I could have longer time with him, at least a few more months after I came back home, but I am the one who destroy everything, I am the one who push him to the point which no one wants to stay with me anymore.

Whenever I look back, he has went through a lot with me, and he is the one who always improved after fights, but ...I am the one who never change! All the drinking, making a fuss out of nothing, never concerns, all the swear words, anything you can name it for a bad girlfriend, I have done it...

Finally want to improve my English after he told me my English is really bad for years. In order to practice my English,all the entries will be writing in English,


I don't want to use the Frankie J's version, as this Korean singer looks much better.